Its true that your friends in high school are no longer there after you graduate.. you drift apart from them. I personally have experienced this in these past couple months of being in college. Although i love everything that college has been offering me so far. Especially after making it into PAC Modern my life has really been alot better and i love the people i’ve met and gotten close to in such a short amount of time, not to mention how they’re my new family. I love them! But there are those times when i’m alone and just pondering about the things i use to do with my friends back in high school. I was one of those people who didn’t hang out and wasn’t close to people in my grade. So i basically didn’t like my group of seniors. My friends were the juniors and some sophomores. Basically all of my friends in high school were on the dance team with me. It’s pretty sad to look back and remember the memories i’ve made with them and our relationships we created and grew from. To think that now we don’t even talk or see each other maybe it’s cause we all have different schedules and that they are still in high school and always have practice everyday. But my life is really jam packed and busy, i somehow still have time to be free and hangout with them. I don’t bother to ask if they can hangout cause none of them seem to care anymore well that’s how it seems like to me. They only talk to me when they need something or it’s something pointless. Pointless ranting right now.. but this will be left where it’s at i’m not going to do anything about it BECAUSE i’ve met the people that do matter and do care and i am grateful to have them in my life. If you think i’m wrong about you prove me wrong then..
just a few of us in San Diego <3
my weekend was really good. it started on friday with my family PAC MODERN<3. They had a performance at this benefit show called Mighty Max. I wanted to come and support them even though i wasn’t performing. and i got to see beautiful San Diego once again. Love it there. We also, saw Team Millennia and got to meet some of them, theyre all so nice. After, we all got invite to Brittany’s house for dinner with TM as well. That was really fun and such good food. BUCA DI BEPPO yummm! I had a really good and super fun day with modern and tm.
Getting ready to go to the job fair at urban outfitters at the americana soon. Finishing my application and going to get dressed appropriately and make an impression (: haha. I really hope this goes well, i really need a job and i’ve always wanted to work at urban. Wish me luck (:
Am i just lying to myself when i say i’m completely over you? Now i don’t really know what’s going on in my head. Am i back to this again, back to the start of this whole thing? I seriously can’t be at this once more, it’s not healthy. I’ve seen what it has done to me and it’s not something good. Honestly, there are just a few things that still bogle my mind and bother me. 1) the fact that you can talk to my friend who’s on the same team as me but you can’t talk to me at all after everything that we had and felt for each other. Is it really that hard to say sorry to me and at least give me an explanation. Don’t you think i deserve at least that. I believe that you’re not the kind of person to just do something like that and leave things unsaid. 2) when i texted you telling the truth as to why i haven’t been able to get over you for the past two months and how i felt about everything, i didn’t expect to get a reply from you because you never replied to any of my messages trying to reach out to you and see what was going on before i gave up. But i don’t know i was just hoping you would reply back like all that i said in that text would have hit you hard and made you realize but i know it probably had no effect on you. God i just hate the fact that i don’t know how you felt and what was going on in your mind that whole time. I didn’t know if we were on the same page, or if we felt the same way. I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I’m done with all this. Old friends are not worth it anymore. If they are worth it i know who will show me that i should still have my faith in them and trust that there is a friendship still there. Otherwise, i am done making efforts to hangout or talk to them. I shouldn’t even be making the effort or most of the effort it has to be half and half but that’s not the case here. So it’s set and done i am not making anymore efforts i shall just let it die on it’s own. Besides, there’s a bright side to all this. I’ve been making alot of new friends that i know i’ll get closer to as time goes on and i’ll be with for the next couple years of my life. I have more friends to make as this year progresses. I can’t wait for those new people to walk into my life.
We watch the season pull up its own stakes
And catch the last weekend of the last week
Before the gold and the glimmer have been replaced,
Another sun soaked season fades away
You have stolen my heart
Invitation only, grand farewells
Crash the best one, of the best ones
Clear liquor and cloudy eyed, too early to say goodnight
You have stolen my heart
who knows where i can download the latest version of microsoft word? let me know asap pls! i need it like now. haha thank you! either hit me up on text or leave the source on my ask box. gracias really appreciate it.
If you like me or crushing on me can you just tell me straight up. Because i’m here wondering if you do like me or crushing on me. Sometimes i feel like you do or that’s how you try to make it seem. But i can never tell forsuree. I don’t know i just would like to know. At the same time it doesn’t seem like you have time to talk to me so maybe i was wrong thinking you were crushing on me or liked me in the first place.
PAC MODERN-newbie,STEEZEline,nastyNORTH, pac-a-bowl ;]
ALL STAR LINE! NORTH FAMS!! (: thas wassssupppp!
I really do and it’s not good for me. I hate it and how I end up feeling because of it. It’s not worth thinking too much about anything. But somehow as much as i try to stray away from thinking i end up back at it. I just have to learn and be more aware of not doing this. I should just be happy, well i am. I guess try to be GENUINELY HAPPY.
come take class taught by some amazing Pac Modern Alumni ! Support the Fam !
I admit i am a flirt and a tease, but none of what i say are lies. Theyre all the truth.
HELLO !!! FEEL FREE TO TALK TO ME (: i don’t bite i promise. introduce yourself and lets conversate. visit my ask box!
kay back to reading. gotta get alot of reading done before tmrw.
You should believe in me
And everything I choose to do
You should believe that Ill
Always come back to you
Life is discovering
The love that we create
Life is a mystery
We need to embrace
In every way
You need to let go
Youll see all your dreams will follow
In every way
You need to let go
People rise together
When they believe in tomorrow
Change today to forever
This life keeps movin
I swear I fuck shit up all the time. Sometimes for selfish reasons, sometimes for no reason. But every time I’m in this situation I honestly think I just get really scared of falling in love. And I can’t take it. So before it starts getting too serious I end things to make sure no one gets hurt anymore. I think I just need to be thankful for whatever anyone throws at me because in the end they are really the one’s who love me no matter what.
story of my life. except i’m the person who gets hurt in the end.
Went to clubbin at rage with pac modern and modern alumni for christians bday! (: it was fuckin cracckin!!! I had soo much fun with the greatest people ever! The best night of my life as of right now. I loved it! Can’t wait to go back to rage again. Birthday is coming up in a month so holla!
Is beginning to think too much yet again..
But this time i have three people and those situations with them that are revolving around in my mind. Pondering on a couple things, questioning here and there. Trying not to analyze much. I told myself i am done with you but i really feel that i need to get it off my mind and tell you what i feel you should know. I guess this is my closure from us, telling you what i really feel about you. Even though i know that there is a high risk of you not replying back. Now it’s just a matter of me putting it into the right words. Hopefully you actually read it and think about it. Reply back for once would be a completely shocker.
Fresh, clean slate. New beginnings.