3:07AM
and i am awake yet again. i don’t feel sleepy well for that matter i don’t feel anything at all because my entire body is numb from the freezing temperature in my room. this damn heater isn’t doing shit at all. i feel no heat in this house. i might as well pull an all nighter. currently going to watch the lion king or another movie. webcam with me if you’d like. i am bored.
& starting this New Year, 2011, things will change for the better and for myself.
exactly what i am going to do.
(via 365thoughts, 365thoughts)
Jamie: You’ve obviously never asked anybody for help before. A request like yours requires flattery..groveling..it can’t be all about you. It has to be for the common good of everyone.
Landon: It IS for the common good. Eddie Zimmerhoff deserves the best. Please…
Jamie: Okay. One one condition though Carter, you have to promise you won’t fall in love with me.
Landon: That’s not a problem.
Jamie: Okay, I’ll see you this Saturday afternoon after school.
good movie, cute but very sad.
I wonder what today has in store for me? that is the big question on my brain at the moment while i watch Tangled, which by the way is a good movie and cute (: makes my mood a bit happier. Today i was planning on going to camarillo outlet to go shopping for myself. Get myself some clothes and shoes as my own christmas gift. But i got bailed on, ehh no biggie i guess. So now i think i’ll just go to topanga mall with my mom and see what i can find to buy. Who wants to go with me? ha. Still watching the movie then after i might just hit the sheets and listen to music til i fall asleep. feel free to shoot me a text or something. goodnight.
Christmas is over, now back to reality..
Merry Christmas followers (: ! i love you guys!
I guess nothing has changed since last year..
exactly the same for me.
Tonight was a great night of training with modern. I had alot of fun learning both pieces and i loved both pieces as well. I’m really feeling it now, i can’t wait for vibe. Excitement is taking over day by day. Feel utterly inspired from all this training. Thank you and thank you to gino and harmony for teaching tonight.
p.s. i like this song, changes my mood. makes me feel happy (:
if one day you wake up and find that you’re missing me
And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I could be
im sitting on my bed watching 27 dresses, i’ve never seen this movie before.. pretty good so far. but at the same time i’m finding it a little to concentrate because my mind is off thinking too much again. what i saw today was totally unexpected, i don’t know why you did it maybe there’s no reason for it all but knowing me i’m going to think there’s something behind it. after how many months have passed and now i feel like i’m back on square one. well back to my movie. just some thoughts to share.
So for this New Year I want to …
- Lose 30 Pounds.
- Get a six-pack & a V.
- Somehow get taller.
- Find someone and be in a relationship.
- Dress nicer.
What are your New Year’s Resolutions?
FAIL! that’s all i’m going to say.. haha :/
dumb, really dumb fuhreals!
maybe, lets hope not.
this holiday season is really getting to me like on a serious note. depression is filling up my entire soul right now. why do i have to be single?
these songs on repeat during these rainy days:
george nozuka-such a fool
ryan tedder-i will try
katy perry-electric feel
sets the mood just right.
Well for me? I don’t really know. Looking around my group of friends and it’s so cute seeing everyone with their significant other, while I sit awkwardly green with envy at the “snogging” and the cuddling and the low murmuring as each couple interact with one another.
Now although there ARE other bachelor(ettes) in the room, I can’t help but feel more alone than ever. I can’t help but ask myself a dozen questions like, am I doing something wrong, or am I looking in the wrong places? Are my standards too high? But even settling low isn’t cutting it…
Now I don’t mean to toot my own horn, but I seem to have the general package that people look for … or at least I think so, right? I’m friendly, the personality’s there. I’ve got a little bit of talent and the right amount of looks. Plus, I’m ambitious and I know what I want in life and I’m a bright and ambitious student.
So what is it that makes people look past me? I just don’t get it… I’m not asking to be in a relationship, but at least someone to hang out with or whatever. I mean, some adults and parents encourage dating young and “play the field” to really get to know your type, but how are we really supposed to do this if there’s nobody else in the field but you?
couldn’t agree more. this applies to me as well. i ask myself this question everyday. i never have an answer.
— Jennifer Shin
story of my life.
why does even the sight of your picture bring back everything?! i find myself lurking through your tumblr at times just to look and see how you are.. why do i still care after how much i got hurt? ugh i feel like a stupid kid who can’t let go. why can’t i just not care and all that other crap when it comes to you.. did i really fall in love with you that much?
I wish I was never born, emo as it sounds I just wish. I hate feeling so much emotions, I hate being like this. I hate being human. I just wanna…..fuck. Why can’t life have a manual guide or an instruction brochure. Life can never seem to cut me some slack. Like what did I ever do to the world, to make it hate me so much. Damn, sometimes I just wanna explode into a billion pieces. I feel so corrupted and destructive. I just wish, for once something good would happen. Everything I do leads to disappointment. I may come off as this happy go lucky guy, but deep inside there is a child, crying out for help. I cant seem to go on a day without breaking down. I wish I can just go back in time and reverse everything. Damn I sound so emo, but whatever. I keep trying. Trying new things, trying to be happy. but there is a big difference between trying and being. I cant be happy, my vast depth of emotions cant grasp happy thoughts. I’m so use to disappointing me and leaving me. I just don’t wanna hurt anymore. I may feel different tomorrow, but the matter of the fact is that some people are not meant for this world. And with this I say goodnight to you all.
i can completely relate to this. kinda how i’ve been feeling lately. emo moments lately.
all these posts on my dash about people and their significant other is starting to get to me..
there have been a lot of these posts lately and i hate reading them because it makes me sad and think that i’m the only one without a significant other to talk about and be happy with. especially the fact that its christmas season and everyone out there has that special person to share it with and i know i don’t have one.
*sigh ):
still awake studying for my anthropology final tmrw morning at 8. need to memorize all 18 questions and the answers to them. studied earlier and i memorized 15 and was good with them. now just going over them again and again and again. so i don’t forget at all. i need to answer them word for word. then in the morning an hour or so before the final i will study again. debating on whether i should take a nap or not. i don’t want to wake up late. and there’s no one awake right now or anyone to talk to for that matter. i can do this, last final and last day of school then it’s winter break! (:
this has been running through my mind this past few days.. why does it bother me that you didn’t reply when i texted you on your birthday saying happy birthday and all that other stuff. i know i sent it late at night and you were probably sleeping or maybe you did see it and read it but couldn’t say anything. you can’t say anything because even after all that you did to me i still try to talk to you and become friends but you don’t seem like you want to. for once i want to know your side of everything that happened between us. but i won’t get that..
going off the previous post. i guess it’s partly my fault where i always place other people’s happiness above my own. am i suppose to expect the same back? probably not. there’s times where i start to feel like if im placing people’s happiness above my own and not getting the same then why do i do it? why do i take my time away from my own life and talk to people? make them feel better? keep them busy? why do i put my thoughts on pause for other people as they rant? why do i always smile but feel like im crying? why do i expect something back all of a sudden? its true that one does this just through generosity. but what happens when one gives all that he has? i believe it’s up to those people to give back. but honestly half of the people will just up and leave and the other half will give back. if you analyze this situation it’s a mathematical series (1 - 1/2) = 1/2. then you subtract half of the result to itself (1/2 -1/4) = 1/4. its slowly but surely approaching zero. in retrospect this is the situation most people including me are in since we give more than we gain and can give only so much.. its interesting when we take a step back and see if we’re doing or saying the right thing. all in all am i happy? yes i am. but im i really happy? that question is up in the air for i dont even know. im expecting something to just sweep me up and make me feel special. but those expectations have only led to disappointments. So for now, its going back to putting on a smile, back to making other people smile, back to putting my happiness aside for someone else. For now, it’s time to get ready, because when i walk out that door, it’s showtime.
i feel exactly the same way. now it’s time to go out there and put on a smile and pretend like everything is okay.
just cause i’m smiling doesn’t mean i’m happy.
