but i think that’s the best part about it. life’s a gamble. take chances, take risks, take anything that you can. because you’ve really only lived life by feeling the highs and the lows. sometimes the chances you take can change your life, but let it. sometimes the risks you take you “wish you shouldn’t have” but why wish you hadn’t? It was everything you wanted to do at that time. You only live once, make it count. I am in no control of what happens here on out, but i’m excited as to what’s in store. the good, the bad, but no matter what happens, just know that life is beautiful. because being alive is beauty in itself. we’re blessed everyday to be able to wake up. our time is now. quit wasiting time wondering what happens next. just live. and live for today. who knows what tomorrow brings, and who cares. it’s about today. live for today.
These past few weeks/months have been crazy and fun at the same time. But lately my eyes have finally opened up and i realized that there has been a dramatic change in myself. Just everything in general to my personality. It’s totally not who i am.The way i’ve been acting and the things i have said, it’s not who i really am. I am not myself lately. It’s sad that it took me long to see all of this. Well actually i know that it was wrong the way i acted and the things i said but i didn’t stop myself, i allowed myself to get influenced by other people. This is completely deviating from who i am as a person and my morals. I am always myself and doing what i think is right and not allowing influences to change me. I know to some it might not sound like a big deal, but to me it is. I’m the type of person that little things like this affect me because i’m not one to be like this. I’ve always been a happy, friendly, lovable person. From the way i’ve changed i started to get the feeling that people don’t like to be around me anymore like they did before and i knew i was to blame because of the change i brought upon myself. I felt as if people hated me. In all honestly this hurt and i hated having that feeling linger in my mind. I’m glad that my eyes opened up and i realized everything.
i want to apologize to everyone around me.
someone I can always call
wake up to by their ‘good morning’ texts
sleeping on the phone with
holding hands in the car
hugging at the most random times
just someone to be there
i want this.. i wish i had this.
i don’t understand people sometimes, whatever not letting it get to me. no point in thinking too much about it.
- Take you to Downtown Disney and watch the fireworks ?
- Wait in line for hours at M&M’s donuts, just the two of us ?
- Fall asleep on the phone and one of us snores ?
- Watch movies on a rainy night all bundled up ?
- Drive while holding hands, you feeding me while driving, visa versa ?
- Fight and make up and get some Volcano Tea or Tastea (: ?
- Eat so much and show each other how big our bellies got ?
Gimme a chance =/
Me & my cousin think alike.
i want to find the person i can do all of this with… ):
Time can help you, heal you, restore you to almost your old self again after loosing someone. Time can help you move on, heal your heart, and remember how life was without someone. Time can be good… That’s what we wanna hear, right? in an almost perfect world, that’s what it does. But there’s much more to ‘time’ than that. Time can make you miss someone, so much, and as the days pass, it doesn’t get easier, it gets harder, because it adds to the list of days you are not with them. Time can help heal you, but it doesn’t mean that you’re healed. sometimes people just learn how to get by to things. sometimes people just learn how to move forward with their lives. and they say that “time heals.” but it doesn’t heal you. it just helps heal. you have to heal for yourself. you have to be strong. and know that time isn’t gonna do the job for you, and you gotta do the job yourself.
story of my life.
sometimes you can’t help but wonder why things happen, why people say things, do things, feel a certain way… it’s strange sometimes. it doesn’t make sense. but you know, that’s life. it’s not supposed to make sense. because there are times when you’ll fall for your ex-boyfriends best friend, or you’ll run into someone whom you haven’t seen in years and you fall back in love, people move, leave, and never come back, and they are just memories that you can look back on. sometimes people come back into your life, sometimes they don’t. sometimes you meet someone and you wonder why you ever even met them because they’ve hurt you so much. you wonder why someone leaves you, breaks up with you, why things don’t go the way they went in your head, and everything is just “f*cked up.” I know the exact feeling, but you know.. it happens. it just happens. and when it happens, it happens. it is what it is. and all we can do is just hope. because at that time, you know that you genuinely trust fate. and you should, because whoever you believe in, God, Buddha, what have you, people will always have one thing in common… and that’s fate. things are meant to happen. people are meant to be together, sometimes for a certain period of time, and sometimes for the rest of your life. people are meant to leave this earth, earlier than others, some struggle more than others, and go through much more pain than others, but what can we do? Pray. Hope. and believe in fate. And we wonder why strange things happen, but quit wondering, and just trust in fate.
god, i love you keesh. it’s like you can read my mind and heart <3
There are certain things that need to change with the course of my life at this moment. I’m 19 and i haven’t been in a relationship since sophomore year of highschool. It’s pretty sad to think about and i don’t know the reasons for why this is. Maybe i’m too picky or i am waiting for the “right one”. I need to just stop and not seat around and wait for that certain person to come find me. I need to go out there and look and explore see what can catch my eye. Don’t be afraid to take risks and chances. You never know what will happen unless you take that chance with someone even if it’s merely just getting to know them as friends, it could grow into something deeper. I can’t keep thinking too much about every little thing. I can’t wonder about all the “what ifs”. So what if i heard that the person is taken or whatever. Ask the questions that are needed to be asked. Get to know the person as much as possible. Show them what you have to offer that the other individual can’t. But intend it as a friend then show that there’s potential to be something more than friends. I can’t be scared to try and go for it.
i need to live like i’m dying.
did i get this feeling? but i know i can see myself being more than friends with you.
Today has been really boring altogether. I’ve been stuck at home with absolutely nothing to do. I am carless at the moment so i can’t go out and if i could all of my friends have school right now so no point. I would go to the beach just to sit and think but i wanna go with someone and preferably at night. The only place i want to go to right now is SD and the bay this weekend for battlefest. I am currently waiting for my dad to get home so i can use his car and go to PCN practice and then modern rehearsal for battlefest tonight.
Recap of what i’ve done so far.
- eat (jollibee, bread etc.)
- watch tv
- finish watching the lion king
- text people
- on tumblr and facebook
Box Entertainment Presents
The 10th Anniversary of the Ultimate Urban Dance Competition
Battlfest Live 360 v10
…April 23, 2011
Doors Open at 5:00pm
Show Starts at 5:45pm
San Mateo Expo Center
2495 South Delaware Street
San Mateo, CA 94403
Competing Teams (As Of 3/10/11)
That One Company
Showcase Acts (As Of 3/10/11)
The ART of Teknique
Groove Against The Machine
De La Femme
Machine Gone Funk
Animated Funk Machines
Survival of the Illest 3 on 3 all Styles Battle
Sign Up in advance at email@example.com
$250 Cash Prize
Tickets Go On Sale March 23, 2011
$75 4 Pack
$40 VIP Seating
For Ticket Ordering: http://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/166362
Official Website – www.battlefestlive360.com
Supporters and Sponsors:
Bamboo Park Festival
“This will be the best event we’ve ever produced”
It’s funny to think about how you were before or the person i thought i knew. To reflect on how you are now, i don’t even know if i knew you at all. The person you let me get close to and have feelings for is just a mystery now, as if it was my imagination. Sometimes i wonder if any of it was true.. at times i’m proven that it was just a game to you and none of it was real. I look at it now and i question myself why i let it affect me and hurt me so much before, when really in the end it wasn’t worth it at all. At first, i thought it was but you proved me wrong time and time again. Been over it for awhile now, just reflecting on it all. Friends is out of the question now, since i’m the only one making the effort and when i do i get shit like “i don’t need this from you” Oh well. Not my lost. I don’t hate you after everything that happened, were just not friends.
I’m so done trying to be friends and putting effort into building a friendship with a person who won’t even seem to care and put equal effort. Grow up and face the problem instead of running away from it and creating some stupid excuse. You’re definitely not the person i thought you were.
I feel like whenever I meet someone new and we start talking, that this person is gonna be ‘it’, the one you’ve been looking and waiting for. You tell each other not to let your guard down and to take things slow, you both don’t want to get hurt. They sound so perfect and everything goes so smoothly. Your relationship starts to move rapidly. They tell you all these things you think you’ve never heard before, your so naive that you believe them, but this all has been said to you millions of times before. Your emotions begin taking control of your common sense and you let what ever they say and do get to you. You surprise yourself and wonder why your already falling for this person, it’s too soon, but you let yourself. You let your guard down and let them completely in. Your confused, yet excited. You find yourself liking this person more and more everyday, you start learning something different and new about them and connecting with them on a certain level that makes you so comfortable to be around them. It begins to be such a great routine with ‘Good morning’ and ‘I miss you’ text messages, funny picture messages, following with daily phone calls and even sleeping on the phone with each other and you both start making it an unsaid priority to see each other as much as you guys can. Inside it just feels right, you begin to forget about all the people you gave your heart away to and make it try making it whole again with this person. Nothing can go wrong, it’s meant to be. But then it does, this person starts acting different, you know somethings wrong, you feel it deep inside, you don’t know what it is, but you know that their plans don’t include you. You start lying to yourself, your so blind, you don’t wanna believe any of it. So you ride it out until you can’t take it emotionally anymore and you confront it. That’s when your heart really drops and you hear the words. ‘I can’t do this anymore’, your in disbelief and don’t know what to feel, you have no words, no emotion, it’s so unexplainable. Their excuses range from,
- “It just wasn’t working out”
- “I don’t have time”
OR MY FAVORITE
- “I’m just not ready for a relationship”
(Referring to this statement, I don’t understand why you would even try with someone if you weren’t ready for a relationship, I think this one hurts the most. You could have said something in the beginning, it would have made more sense in the end, just saying.)
You don’t know what to do with yourself, but it’s happened so many times before that you aren’t surprised. You find yourself becoming stronger and stronger after each heartbreak. You start questioning yourself and begin telling yourself, “you’ll never be good enough”.
At the end of every relationship like this you start realizing the pattern, and beat yourself up because you see how stupid you’ve become that you let someone else take a chunk of your heart AGAIN just because they wanted to test their emotions on you. You tell yourself, “I’m going to keep my guard up next time, not let anyone in” Over the days, weeks or even years your heart, your mind, your soul start to heal. You feel so strong, you don’t want a relationship, your good on your own. Your perfectly fine with your life as it is.
And then the unexpected happens, you meet someone new. It’s like a breath of fresh air. And you disregard all that you learned from the person and pain before.
I’m not trying to be a downer, but I just have been needing to get this off my chest for a long long time. It feels good to realize my faults. Over the years I honestly learned you have to love YOURSELF before you could love anyone else. Only time will heal.
Thanks for Reading,
Story of my life. word for word.
If it’s a broken arm, brace it.
If it’s a broken heart, face it.” —Jason Mraz (via ah-lin)
Back to square one. Back to liking you again, even though i told myself it’s a waste of time. Before it was just there and i was whatever about it but somehow it resurfaced and i like you still.
what to do…
I end up wanting someone I can’t have. Or they don’t want me
Stop going back to it and thinking about it. It’s a waste of time.